Issa’s Top Five Ways to Question Authority
Posted on April 22nd, 2009 in Musings & Philosophy
“Question Authority” makes a great bumper sticker, but how do you do it? What’s the nitty-gritty of questioning authority? Is it limited to cussing at your parents and cheating on your taxes? There are an infinite number of ways to question authority. Here are my top five:
- Question Monogamy - Monogamy is definitely the authority when it comes to relationships. It’s a given. It’s the default. Have you ever asked yourself why you’re monogamous, or is it automatic? Here’s an interesting scenario: Say you meet a woman, fall in love, get married, and live together happily for years. Then, she dies. Ten years later, you meet a new woman, fall in love, get married, and live together happily for years. This is a normal situation, right? Now, imagine that you had met them both at the same time. What’s the logic behind picking one over the other? Mightn’t it be possible to love them both at the same time? Does love for one detract from love for another? Whatever your eventual answer, it’s definitely a question worth asking.
- Question Family - They say that “blood is thicker than water”, and while that phrase is sometimes meant to say that relationships with relatives are more solid than others, for many people it just means that blood is that ick that’s hard to wash off. Question whether or not your first family is truly supportive of you or whether you might be better off moving on. And in the meantime, question whether you have to be related to people to make family out of them. “Chosen family” sounds a lot better to my ears than “Those assholes I’m stuck with.” Get unstuck!
- Question Beauty - This question is endless. As a woman, I’m painfully aware of all the ways I’m supposed to conform to a physical ideal, and men aren’t culturally off the hook, either. It’s hairstyles and other body hair, makeup, perfumes, a certain shape or size, the right clothing, certain skin shades, and endless little details. Actual beauty may get lost in the shuffle of packaging and marketing ourselves. Practice looking around and admiring anything that doesn’t remind you of a commercial.
- Question Buying Things - Back when teeth whiteners became popular, I remember thinking that just a couple of years ago, no one knew their teeth needed whitening. Now, there were all these advertisments and people with imperfect teeth. If we didn’t need fixing before the product was pushed on us, then we didn’t need fixing afterwards, either! But, once the message gets out there, it’s hard to ignore it. Try questioning your purchases - even the little ones. Don’t spend money you don’t have on products you don’t need to fix problems you don’t have!
- Question Religion - There are an endless number of religious flavors in the world and endless flavors of being non-religious. Yet, most people’s beliefs dovetail with their parents’. That means our religious practices tend to be habits, rather than explored and chosen beliefs. Often, the first step to shifting away from just having a religious habit it to educate yourself about other options. The internet makes this easy! Get busy with Google and look around at all the possibilities. Contemplate if something else is right for you or if none of them are right for you. When it comes to life, the universe, and everything, the answer should probably be more meaningful than, “Because my mom said so!”
Those are my top five ways to Question Authority. What ways have you questioned authority in your life?


This post has 11 comments
April 22nd, 2009
Wise words, well stated.
April 22nd, 2009
Thanks, Duff Duff!
April 22nd, 2009
Gender roles - I’ve always been good at math (not a Barbie!), science, and other geeky subjects. So, work-wise and in college, I’ve pretty much been in the minority gender. Relationship-wise, we keep most things pretty egalitarian. We both work, so we split most chores pretty evenly. (I do my laundry, he does his.) There are a few notable things in life where gender is truly important… but most of the time, I don’t think it needs to be.
April 22nd, 2009
@Hunter - Yes, Question Gender Roles. That’s a good one, and one that’s hard for a lot of people to question.
April 22nd, 2009
I love the new site! Down with authority!
April 22nd, 2009
Thanks Tara! Glad you made it over here. I just clicked through your name to ecowhore, and there’s a login - is that your new paid/membership site? If so, how is that going?
April 23rd, 2009
ReTweeted
April 23rd, 2009
Thanks Stacycat.
April 23rd, 2009
Great post, better than great, brilliant. And I agree with Hunter’s addition too.
May 4th, 2009
Fantastic Post - I found myself thinking of examples for each point.
1. Helen Fisher talks at length in her TEDTalk about the different kinds of Love we experience, including Lust, Romantic Love, and Deep Attachment - and how it’s possible to feel Lust for one person while at the same time feeling Romantic Love for another person, while at the same time feeling Deep Attachment for someone else. http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/helen_fisher_tells_us_why_we_love_cheat.html
2. I completely agree, in fact I recently asked a close friend if he would be my big brother. And he said yes. And as far as I’m concerned that relationship is as real and solid as my relationships with my biological brothers.
3. If you haven’t already, read The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf.
4. I’m actually about to launch a personal project around this exact idea called *Happiness Not Included. Let me know if you’d like more details.
5. The Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything is 42. Just Ask Google
May 4th, 2009
1. I love TEDTalks. At first, I was resistant to the idea of the different kinds of love, and the interpretation being that while you might feel different kinds of love for different people, it’s still one person per type. As a polyamorous person, I’m hesitant to ever limit the number of people I can be involved in! However, thinking about my own experience, usually only one person is occupying each space at a time. Hmm. That could just be me, though. I know other people that have more than one person that they have the deep attachment kind of love with at a time. Limerence, though, which is probably similar to the romantic love, definitely tends to be one person at a time.
3. I’ve heard of that book, but I haven’t read it. I should check it out!
4. I’d love to hear more about your happiness not included project. I subscribed to your feed, by the way.
5. Of course!
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