I made three phone calls today.
Congratufuckinglations, right?
Three phone calls to friends and family to have conversations about nothing, whatever, this and that, and whatnot.

I used to have phone conversations all the time… when I was, like, 13. What happened? I have a lot of anxiety around the phone. But, you know, I have a lot of anxiety around being lonely, too.

So it’s kind of crucial that I make some kind of connection.

Facebook wasn’t cutting it (9 days off now). Texting doesn’t quite feel complete. It’s too small talky or something.

So I have to make these phone calls today. Three phone calls. About 40 minutes of talk time, at the most. Pretty casual. Only one of them was awkward, and that’s just because I couldn’t hear her very well. But I got through it, and presumably I’ll get better at the whole thing.

One thing I realized about Facebook is that it distracts me and prevents me from being a good friend. I read your posts, I click like, I leave a drive-by comment, but then I don’t call you or come over. I only consume the parts of you that you put out in public. We don’t build any intimacy together.

So quitting Facebook is only one half of an equation for me. The other half is figuring out how to reach out and be a good friend.

Right now I’m starting with phone calls and seeing where that leads.

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